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Fishing slang for your spouse

3568 Views 22 Replies 7 Participants Last post by  fishingkats
My whole life I have tried to converse with my spouse about fishing. The only problem is when I start speaking all she hears is "blah blah blah. " I can not put the blame on her it is how she was raised, learning proper English. Me, of course, I have learned and mastered the skill of Fishing Slang. I thought it was my duty to mankind to release my vast knowledge of this. With this knowledge my fellow fishing buddies will be able to teach their spouse this skill.

1." I am going fishing." When your spouse says these words what they are really saying is, " Yes dear I know we are 2 months behind on our house payment, they have shut off the power and phone and the water department is knocking on the door. But don't worry I will bring home dinner for the family. My advice is to let him go fishing anyway, he has already spent next months house payment on a new reel and pole. The power was spent on bait. The water and phone as spent on lures and hooks. You know if you would plant a garden you would not have to worry about food any way.
2. "I am going fishing." This one is almost as important as the first one but not quit. What he is realy saying is, "Some of my buddies and I are going to the lake to tell offensive jokes, drink stale beer, and discusting snacks." Don't even think about him bring home dinner, Have you ver known them to catch fish any way.
3. "I'm going fishing." Yes this one is as important as the first one, What your loving spouse is saying is, " Work has been h*** all week, the boss thinks I should actually be at work instead of at the bait shop. He also thinks reading fishing mag all day is not work." Yes I would you let your spouse go fishing. My one comment is that you let them go alone. But if you do insist on going please do not ask the following questions. "Honey how ca you ctch fish with your eyes closed?" Really more fish have been caught on the insides of eyelids than ever in a lake. "Honey, aren't you suppose to put bait on the hook?" Look he is meditating mentally with the fish with their eyes closed don't break their train of thought. And last but not least"Honey won't that snoring scare the fish?" this shows real lack of knowledge of fishing very people can speak Fishish.

These are just a few of mine let me know if you want more.
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Some more

1. "It is great excercise," This phrase is spoken by a truely loving spouse. A companion that treasures every moment that you spend with them. I friend that cares greatly about your health and your well being. Just because the boat motor is broken down and the oars seem to be custom made to fit your hands means nothing. His setting in the back beeting a drum and saying. "Stroke, Stroke Stroke." is to help you keep a steady pace for your work out. Just be glad he doesn't want to go water skiing that day. Besides did I mention to you that there is a new boat down at Marty's boat shop and he says that we can get if for almost nothing.
2. "Hi Honey what would you like to do on this beautifull day?" No he does not care what you really want to do. He wants to go Fishing. What I reccomend is that you Follow this statement with, " not much just some friends and I were going to go to the mall."  Hold on friends did you really want to go Fishing? Don't you think it would be better to spend the day with your loving spouse doing chores? Besides aren't you trying to save money for thatnew boats at Marty's?
3. "Chew Faster." Once again ladies your husband is not asking you to complete your dinner faster so that you and he can spend a romatic evening at a movie and dancing. This statement is usually proceeded by the comment from your spouse, " Is there suppose to be water coming from the bottom of the boat?" What he is saying is, "I need more gun and make it sticker this time, and can't you bail water at the same time I just had a bite." All of this could have been avoided if you would just let hi purchase the new boat at Marty's.
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 ?Just a couple Dollars?: This refers to the second mortgage that he took out on your house to buy the new boat at Marty?s. Usually this amount is less that $30,000 dollars but has be seen to go as high $50,000 in a few isolated cases.  Do not confuse this with ?just a few dollars.? That is what he spent on new lures and poles. I have never seen that go above $10,000 dollars. Please remember that he needs these things so he can ?go fishing? to feed the family. Beside the kids don?t need new clothes every year, why buy new when the grew so much.
 ?We need a vacation?: Among all phrases this is rated one of the highest. Translated this means ?Bob just found a new fishing spot in deep Canada, and I really think that you and the kids should go visit your mother this year.?  The big puppy dog eyes and a whimpering sound also usually follow this. Beside didn?t he take you and the children camping last year for two weeks, It wasn?t his fault it rained the whole time. The child Physicist did say that the children would out grow the nervous twitch caused by the lightening.
 ?It was a record size?: This is usually told when in a crowded room when telling fish stories. His arms are usually stretched out and his head is tilted back. If he looks your way during this statement the best thing you can do is to node in approval. Do not start laughing and slapping your thighs; this removes all creditability from the story.
 ?Don?t leave, I can?t live without you?: When a fisherman says this it has gotten to a desperate stage in his life. He has finally realized that his wife makes all the money that he spends and that the boat and trailer is in her name.  It also means that the boat is hooked up to the car and he was ?going Fishing? tomorrow. Women when your husbands says this the best thing you can do is to return to his side. There is nothing more sickening than seeing a forty plus year old male lying on the ground throwing a temper tantrum. Besides you will never find anyone else who can fit into his clothes and likes the smell of fish.
 ?Did you pack my fishing pole??: This is one of the most used schemes. It usually means that he forgot to pack it himself, or he intently did not pack it hoping that you would feel sorry for him and let him go buy another one. But really ladies, did you expect him to pack it he can?t even pack his own bags for a vacation. And if he did pack his own bags would you want to be seen in public with him.
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and finally the last ones
 : What?s for dinner??: Usually this means I know that I was going fishing to catch us dinner. But the lake was low, the fish weren?t biting and I spent the bait money on some beers for my friends. Don?t worry in their drunken stupor they told me a great place to go to. Where they have been knocking them dead. The only thing is I need some gas money and the fish are hitting on a new type of lure that I don?t own. Women don?t fall for this line, and make sure that you have checked your rose garden before excepting them from him.
 ?You?ll never guess whom I just saw??: Yes ladies by now you probable know this answer. Your right it was Marty. If your husband ever follows this with ?He would really like to see you again? Run for the bank, stop all payments and make sure the house is in your name only. Do not fall for the puppy dog eyes or the whimpering. He has used them one to many times. Now of course if you happen to be my loving wife. He really does want to see you and we can get it for almost nothing.
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Thanks for your comments Dan and Koni. I will work on a list of excuses for you. Just remember You asked for it
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