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6,168 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: 'Please note that this Bank is
installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw
cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures
outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful
research, "MALE & FEMALE" procedures have been developed. Please follow the
appropriate steps for your gender.'

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
(What is really funny is that most of this part is the truth!!!!)

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive
distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside
back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of

18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

2,347 Posts
Ouch! Okay, so how many of you have either scraped up or torn off a rear view mirror on the one-armed bandit? (I actually have only scraped - tore mirrors off on other things like garage door rails, etc.)
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