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Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions : Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an
erection, make him a sandwich .

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the
Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky-not really good for anything, but you still can't
help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.


Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of
nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather.. It pays no attention to
criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and a substantial tax cut saves
you $30.00?

Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to
make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it
normal.

And The Number 1 Thought:
Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers--what you do today, might burn your ass
tomorrow.

- - - and as someone recently said to me:
"Don't worry about old age--it doesn't last that long."
 
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