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well long story short my wife who is six months pregnant left me and said she wants a divorce....She told me I paid to much attention to her son(Im the only dad he knows and took full responsiblity for him ...) and she was jealous of they attention I paid to the dog......She was great before she got pregnant then everything went downhill......I tried to tell her that her hormones are making her crazy but she just wouldnt listen....Any advise on what to do ? I know this is the fishing forum but you guys seem more like me then anyone else so I thought I would post this......My son is due dec 31st. my first biological child and Im pretty much freakin out ...I dont want him to be born into the world with divorced parents....This is the first time in my life fishing isnt even fun anymore......Sorry for the long whining post ......Just needed to vent.....
 

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Man....I wish I had some helpful words! I do not have any kids, but would guess that she will calm down after a bit and come back. Don't give up on her yet! Hang in there!
left_turn56
 
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thanks leftturn......I can't say enough about the people on this website...Im really feel greatfull for finding it!!!!!!
 

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hey fg women do get nuts when they are pregnant. i might suggest talking to her doctor about it and also you keep raising that kid my son doesent know any different after 18 years if you need someone to talk to i live up by you and ould be glad to chat
 

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Your wife is upset, and may be the hormones, but talk to her about counseling. Get a third party involved, evidently she feels left out and doesn't want to go through that again.  Make it a win win situation, where neither one of you feels they are giving up something or having to sacrifice . Best to you!!!!
 

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I'd suggest doing something just the 2 of you if you can, and talk to her casually about how and why she is feeling that way. Try not to be very direct.
 

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Hey dude - that's rough!! How close are you to her parents - especially her mom? I would offer that if you have the mom's support maybe Mom can talk to her (as long as they are on speaking terms). That's alot of ifs, I know - but it might help.

Pregnancies can be a real tough time for a couple, or the greatest! Our second wasn't the greatest timing and ended up being very stressful - esp for me. (In college, working, bad living arrangement with the in-laws.)

Someone else said try to stick with it - I agree, keep trying, the two of you need some time together to remind you how things used to be.

Just my 2.... maybe 3 cents worth.

Jeff
 

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We men are simple creatures, and we're not qualified to analyze women.

There are a number of women registered on the forum who have kids. If any of them wants to chime in on this, I would give what she says 10 times more weight than a bunch of guys trying to make well-intentioned guesses.

That being said, I concur with afishman about talking to her doctor, for two reasons.

One, the doctor needs to know this is going on, because she very likely will not bring it up herself. The dr. may be able to prescribe something that would give her a little relief from the stress she is under.

Two, the dr. may want to have her see a specialist who knows a thing or two about pregnancy related emotional conditions.

Do you have any way of finding out how she reacted to her first pregnancy?

Regards, W. E.
Hang in there.
 

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Who knows what her issue is? We certainly don't. I look at life as shades of gray, not black or white. Looking after her son is noble, but maybe not what she needs now. I would guess she needs tenderness, compassion, and someone that she feels will be there for her in the long run. Someone that understands her, maybe she sees taking her son away on a fishing trip, as taking him away.

I'm probably in left field fishinguitars, talk to her.

Walking Eagle - Dangit all...
 

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fg,

Well, I think you have received some good advice here and I don't have much to add. I would just say that you should feel free to talk to friends and others (even on this board) as you two work out what the issues are. Difficult emotional times are not unusual during pregnancy -- that's for sure, but you can rely on us to do our best to help you out and listen.
 

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Pregnancy Is A Test....

Women sometimes want to find out how you will react when they are at their worst. Not to say being pregnant is the worst for them, however they feel really down because as stated above hormones are changing and phisically they are changing getting bigger. They want to see if you will hang in there and be the rock they can lean on when they are down.

I do not no every detail of your situation so I will not give advice just let you know that prayer moves mountains!

God Bless and Best Wishes For you and your family FG

TH
 
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F.G, sorry to hear about your trouble , I agree with Jeff go and do some things together,go for walks,go to a play at the Lincon Center,rent or go to the movies and talk about what's going on in your lives and what is ahead for both of you in the future,Yes, go and see a Counselor both of you.It helps to have a 3.party involved esp.a Counselor I just been there too,my wife finished Dental Hygiene School, in may,she drove to Denver every day Mondy throu Friday,no Weekends,for two years.We lived of the Credit Card,mega bucks some 30.000$$$$ in the hole, on top of all of this her jop at an office here in town is sock,they don't appriciate her at all and there is no Dental Hygiene jop in town.....two weeks ago everything wend downhill,so we went see a Counselor ,now we are back on track...and our marriage is better than ever,than in the last six years. Again to things together go out,talk, be nice to each other,stick together.I hope that it will work out for you both.I don't now if you live in Ft.Collins or not, but if you need the addresse from me Counselor,she is really good,I'm more than happy to give it to you.

Sincerly,Gunter Romeo
 
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Thanks for all they advice guys....She finally realized what she was doing and wants to go to counseling. It's a huge relief to know that she wants to work things out. I've been reading up on hormones and think thats probably whats going on. I also have to work on being more understanding and sensitive. I really appreciate all the help you guys offerd....The group of people on this forum is awesome....Hopefully the next coloradofisherman get together I'll bring my wife and kids !!!!
 

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FG, I am glad to hear that the tension has lessened a bit, I have a few comments that are probably just as pertinent as before, now that you are thinking about discussing things with a counselor.

I showed this whole thread to my wife, who is never hesitant to express an opinion, so that I could get her insights into the situation. She had several comments to make:

"Robert, you are an idiot."

No, wait, maybe I'll just paraphrase the important parts.

First, she likes the way the others want to jump in, and express friendship, and try to help. "These are good people," she says. I agree.

Second, the business about hormones and stuff is being blown up way out of proportion. Having been through three pregnancies herself, she says that whatever issues are upsetting your wife, they existed before the pregnancy, whether they were expressed or not. While it's true that changes in one's biochemistry might aggravate existing feelings, they don't make one invent whole new issues out of thin air. This needs to be taken into account when you try to address the problems with a counselor.

Third, she needs to unload her feelings with somebody. Preferably yourself, otherwise another woman friend who will let her yell and pound on the table and vent how she feels. This is more valuable for women than most men, although it's good for everyone. I don't know if counseling is the right place for this, but maybe it is.

Fourth, she needs extra attention right now, perhaps more than she is getting, even if you think you are already bending over backwards. She has already expressed this to you.

So says my bride, who never calls me Walking Eagle, although she agrees with the reason for the name.

One last thing FG, she emphasizes that if you are going to save this situation, you must keep talking; it's absolutely crucial.

Regards, W. E.
 

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You put the subject out there, but she wants a divorce because you have taken a interest in her son and it's not fair to her.  Would she rather you not accept her son. Sounds like she needs to grow up alot and knock that immature stuff out, because when that new baby is here there will be even less attention for her. All that hormone stuff is blown out of proportion. I have three kids and asked my wife what she thought and she said its part of the package and the husband and wife are no longer the priorities.  Best of luck and hopfully what we read about you is really how you are and if so she will realize she is lucky.
 

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fg i talked to my wife about it and she said basically the same thin walking eagle's wife said. anyways the offer to talk is still open and lots of luck i am glad things are getting better :)
 
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well dudes....I honestly think things are gonna work out...I talked to her again and things seem very hopefull. She expressed that she needed more of my time, and that with me getting my own column she was afraid I would be even more involved in fishing. The difference this time is we were talking and listening instead of fighting. I feel very positive about our situation and know that things are gonna work out.....I really can't thank you guys enough for all your help(and wife's help)...This weekend I'm taking my stepson fishing and I cant wait until I can take "my boys" fishing.....

Eric
 
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