You Know You're From Colorado When...
- You have absolutely no recognizable accent.
- You consider it "muggy" when the humidity is over 25%.
- You only go to the casinos when friends are in from out of town.
- Yours is the third car to run a red light after it changes.
- During a thunderstorm you wonder which I-25 underpass is flooding.
- You see no reason to travel to Aurora. Ever.
- You carry a $3000 mountain bike on top of a $500 car.
- You own a big dog named Aspen, Buck, Cheyenne or Dakota that wears a bandanna.
- You cast out a fishing line while white-water rafting.
- You have never seen the tourist attractions in your own city.
- The top of your head is bald, but you still wear a pony tail.
- You wouldn't pay to go up Pike's Peak, but you tell your house guests to do it.
- You think formal wear is ironed denim.
- You go anywhere else on the planet and the air is sticky and the sky is no longer blue.
- You see your East Coast relatives more now than when you lived there.
- You think gun control is a steady hand.
- You can run up 10 flights of stairs without huffing and puffing.
- You've stood on solid ground and looked down on an airplane in flight.
- You know what "People's Republic of Boulder" means.
- You've been tear gassed in a riot to celebrate a sports team's victory.
- You can drive over a 12,000 ft. pass in 4 ft. of snow, but can't get to work if there are 4 inches of snow.
- When you visit friends at sea level, you can drink a case of beer and not get a buzz.
- Your car insurance costs more than your car.
- You know what a "chinook" is. You know what a "rocky mountain oyster" is. You know what a "fourteener" is. But you don't know what a "turn signal" is.
- A bear on your front porch bothers you less than a Democrat in Congress.
- People from other states breathe 5 times as often as you do.
- Your car alarm has been set off by thunder.
- A sudden loss of cabin pressure is no big deal.
- You have said, "Where we're going, we don't need roads!"
- You can recognize all 50 states' license plates on sight.
- You've used "checking for ticks" as an excuse to get someone naked.
- You've gone skiing in July and sunbathing in January, in the same year.
- You like knowing that California and Texas are both downstream.
- You know the elevation of a town, but not its population.
- You only know two people who were actually born in Colorado.
- If it snows in the morning, you expect it to be gone by lunch time.
- You know what and where the Continental Divide is.
- You have a business degree, and are flipping burgers at Vail.
- North means "mountains to the left", south means "mountains to the right"; east and west are where all the damn liberals keep moving in from.
- Driving directions usually include, "Go over xxxx Pass..."
- You actually understand these jokes.